A Letter to My Most Hated Nemesis...
Dear Green Pepper,
Why do you continue to bother me? What did I do to deserve this continued harrassment? I'm letting you know that I'm not going to take it anymore. Once and for all, I'm kicking you out of my life.
I want you to know that I never liked you from the beginning. When you showed up for the first time at dinner on family pizza night, you scarred me emotionally. I was just 6 years old and your awful taste turned my stomach. You then kept coming back to our house every pizza night and ruined that special time for me for the next 10 years. Occasionally, you would drop in on chicken cacciatore or stir fry nights and stare at me. I did my best to avoid you, but I could smell your evil stink even after you were gone.
I thought I finally escaped you when I was 18. I had the courage to tell my parents what you did to me and thankfully they kept you out of our house. Yeah, you saw me once in a while at the grocery store. (Did you see me flip you off?) You tried to come bother me at restaurants, but I had the waitress escort you out. Sometimes, I'd see you at friends houses, but I disposed of you quite quickly.
I was able to avoid you for most of my adult life. Sure it was startling to see you at my culinary school, but I refused to get involved with you again. I got in trouble from my chef instructors, but it was worth it.
Last month, you tried to invite yourself over to take part in my Bon Appetit Project. I wouldn't let you in the house. But alas, green pepper, today you have outsmarted me and found your way back into my kitchen with this god awful recipe. It took a lot for me to let you back into my life. I thought maybe you had changed. I WAS WRONG!
I just wanted to let you know that I think you are disgusting. I don't care that people keep telling me how great you are and how much I'll like you once I get used to you. I NEVER, EVER WILL! You are vile and putrid and evil. This will be the last time we meet. I'm not that 6 year old child anymore. I am old enough to make my own choices and my choice is....BUH-BYE.
Have a great life with someone else,
-Mark
THE RECIPE
Ingredients
Oil: had
Chicken: $3.49
Onion & Garlic: had
Italian Parsley: $0.69
Bell Peppers: $1.29
Canned Whole Tomatoes: $1.69
White Wine $5.00
Total: $12.16
THE RESULTS
Fast: Not really. This recipe took close to an hour with prep and total cooking time.
Easy: Yeah. Braising is a pretty simple technique. The hardest part of this recipe was trying not to drink the rest of the bottle of wine.
Fresh: Yes, but again, could have been better with some fresh herbs.
Overall: I thought I would give green peppers another shot with this recipe. I shouldn't have. This recipe was terrible. It was plain and bland and had that awful green pepper taste. It needed some fresh basil or thyme or some other spices. I like chicken thighs, but will never make them like this again.
2 comments:
I'm with you.
For years, my kids tried to convince me that green peppers were evil. I was not buying into it, thinking that, as a supermom, I was doing them a healthy favor.
Then I discovered the sweetness of yellow and orange peppers and put the green aside for good. Last week, for whatever crazy reason, I used a green pepper again--BLURG! DisGUSting!! I will now spend the rest of my life apologizing to my kids for the TRAUMA I'd inflicted on their innocent bodies. What was I thinking?!?
Ah, I missed you for a few days. Sorry. This one really cracked me up! I'm sending it to all my friends. OX
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